Professor Pazpaz for social weirdness and Arab psychoness:

Good evening everyone and welcome to today’s episode of

“Ibtaçim anta loubnany”

(Smile, you’re Lebanese, for the thick minds among you).

In today’s episode we will discuss the issue of Maameltein. As most Lebanese people know, Maameltein is a very tourist costal area in Lebanon, Famous for its lovely beaches and its many illegal Super Night Clubs (Super Night Club in the Lebanese Dictionary=somewhere you can go watch girls and order some of them), in such places weirdos pile up and hit on anything that moves, with a slight preference to the things that actually move on 2 legs. SO when you are going to the beach for some reason, the place of choice would be Maameltein, but not THE Maameltein, just the regular one.

So My dear Lebanese fellows if you have ever been there, and have something to talk to us about, or any question you want to ask, please just give us a call.

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Ring Ring

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Allo?

Allo!

Allo

Allo!

Allo…

Allo!

Allo, I’m hearing you.

Allo! Professér?

Yes, would you like to share something with us? Or ask a question?

Question

Go ahead

I was walking on foot in Maameltein today

….

…

…And?

And I saw a girl…

…And?

And she was walking… SO I waited till she was just next to me and then I said: Shu?... (you know, the Lebanese for “what?”)

…And?

And what? That’s it

What about the ques…um…never mind, thank you very much for calling.

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Ring Ring

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Allo?

Ahlen… I have a big problem and I need your help

Go ahead

I was today on Maameltein, and there were this girl walking alone on the street, you know …That weird girl called Rebecca…

Yes, the same one our friend from the first call saw too.

Yes. Anyway, I saw her walking she seemed to be suffering from something, she was walking all alone, and I was in my white, rusty, old pick-up van. I passed by her the first time. Then I turned back and passed by her again, this time I stopped a 100m ahead of her.
I really felt sorry for her!
So when she passed by me, I asked her, using my sweetest voice: “can I take you somewhere?”
She didn’t even look me in the eye! Just kept going her way, the WHORE!!!
But I really couldn’t leave her all alone on the street (notice what a gentleman I am), so I drove another 100m. Stopped. Waited. Asked again: “Can I take you somewhere?”
Again she ignores me!!
So I start driving beside her, repeating my offer.
Did she get in the car? No!
Did she say: “no thank you I can’t, you’re very nice”? NO!
No really she was so cruel. So I got pissed of, said: “You have a tongue, right?”
That must’ve made her realize what a bitch she is!

My question is…Why?! Why are girls so mean to us guys, all I wanted was to take her for a ride and then figure out a way to fuck her!

Hm, I see. Well Mr.Jerk, you’ll have to forgive our friend Rebecca. You see Ms. Rebecca Simply knows people like you. And, as most girls in Lebanon, she is not attracted by your rusty pick-up. Against all appearances, women cannot be resumed to a small vagina attached to some spherical stuff (breasts, ass…). A woman is also attached to a very important organ called brain, that organ is reduced to a useless appendix in the Homo Jerkus species (your species).
Unfortunately, this organ prevents women from copulating with any Homo jerkus.
My advice to you is:
Masturbate regularly, preferably more than twice/day, after all, it’s perfectly OK to masturbate, but it’s not perfectly OK to harass every woman on earth, just because you can.
I hope I didn’t bore or confuse yet…?


Can you rephrase that?

Rou7 nték!...Clear enough?

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toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

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Oh! He’s gone. Well…ahem…that concludes today’s episode of

“Ibtaçim anta loubnany”

Bye and take care!

Bad day

My day just started off bad and only went badder! Here’s a summary:

1. Yesterday I was sleepless, at 2 am my eyes were wide open (OIO).



2. Found a dead rat/mouse in the elevator



3. Arrived at college, I had an exam, nothing alarming, English. No one seemed
   concerned with the English test, they were all discussing the botany exam (the 2nd exam we’ll have the day after tomorrow). I found that funny. At a certain moment I have the silly idea of asking a friend of mine: “we have English today, right?”
   She gave me the weirdest look … I’ll spare you the péripétie … In brief, we had the English exam on Monday! I didn’t even know…



4. I wanted to study, but what can I study, this is the toughest exam, and I was relying on these couple of days to do “something”… I didn’t study anything. I went into the exam, did 15% of the whole sheet. Went out, it took only 10 minutes.



5. there were no cabs, had to walk for 250m! My feet were so numb and my heart was so heavy, it really wasn’t a pleasure to walk.



6. Had to wait for 15 fucking minutes for a bus



7. 10 minutes before arriving to my home, I noticed that it was only 8:45 am, I can’t possibly go home at that time, the exam’s duration’s 3hours. My mom will definitely nag me about coming home, and then I’d have to tell her everything. I don’t want to!



8. I don’t step down from the bus in the usual place, I went a few more Kilometers, it wasn’t enough space to take another bus back home, that would only take a few minutes, so I walk back home



9. I arrive home at 10:40 am, my mom calls me: Becca?! Shu? Why are you so early?
   Wallaw ya mama? The exam starts at 7:30 (Pinochiometer: Danger)
   Did you do well?
   No
   How bad was it?
   Come on mom, I don’t need this. I hate these questions, I don’t know, I have no Idea (Pinochio-meter: SOS, massive lying!!! I only solved 15% of the whole thing)



10. No electricity→ no TV & no internet



11. My Uterus’ yelling at me… NO SHIT!!! Like NOW? I really don’t need this. I take a panadol and cross my fingers



12. Maybe I can sleep?....No



13. SO, my last resort, auto increase of serotonin and dopamine levels…ahem…you don’t need to hear about that…

I won’t talk to you about my emotional despair, it’s just beyond description. But I’m feeling better; I can still fix this, with some lying and reality twisting, and a lot of luck. I just have one question for all of you adults:
How the hell did you survive? How did you get over college and all and found your place in this world?


P.S.: I will soon go back to the posting frequency predicted a few weeks ago, in other terms, once a week, hope I don’t go nuts.

Some better 7arimi Gazmas

I don't usually post stuff about fashion, it isn't that interesting, and it simply reminds me of all the stuff that I can't really afford. But then, Kareem made his famous "Bloggers' meeting" entry and he kind of hooked me up with a certain Gazma 7arimi group of bloggers, and of course I just HAD to check there blog, it was actualy sweet and all (so OK of all there romantic stuff I only understood one sentence perfectly :وحين تحسسَت ساقيكِ ساقيّ ، وارتعشنا سوياً .)
Hey look, I usually understand poetry, but I didn't get this one, don't you dare call me ... poetrophobic?... Whatever... That was all cool, but what pissed me off was the picture on there background, I mean did you see that?! EW! And the title of the blog is Gazma 7arimi gazma?! gazma?! That's what we, in lebanon, call the boots that workers wear to go to the fields!!!

So dear Mr. Guevara, and very Dear Mr. Pianist,

Please accept my very respectful attempt to give you some better examples to what a woman might wear (if she wants to look stylish), especially when it comes to parties, since afterall the three of us met in the Party organised by the ever famous Mr. Kareem, the truth holder.




very sweet and with a butterfly on the top. Why didn’t you choose this one guys?!






This is sweet too, not as sensual as the first one, but women are most likely to choose this one since it's more comfortable.





And what's so wrong about this simple one?




No comment




This is very feminin and beautiful, it's even shiny




It's high, it's pretty and it's PINK




This one's more of a latin style, but latinas are hot aren't they?





Psst! this is probably the one I'd wear for a party... But Shh! don't tell anyone





Not exactly my style, but I know many women like it





I dare anyone to say this is not sexy





This is a very mature sort of beauty, very stylish too.




Oh! Oh! Should I say anything?





Now this is the ultimate one, it's the one up there or this one.




: A real classic if you ask me, this one’s great for parties, since it’s full of shiny stuff and it covers the toes, so dancing and standing up won’t make your toes look weared and awfully red. But at the same time shows enough skin to be … well… to be what we what we women want.





This one doesn’t look as pretty now as when it is when a foot is filling it.

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Just on a side note, I just made a stunning discovery, I thought that maybe looking the "shopping" pages would provide better results than just googling images, I tried the Yahoo! Shopping pages for sandals, and it totally sucked!!! Berk! What's this shit for example:






Mrs. Yogi bear refuses to wear this ugliness!




Let's see if Kareem really frequently checks my blog, or just says that avoid me the pain.

Caron's Brel

I have no excuse for this, I just love Jacques brel and enjoy everything about his art, including his pictures (even if he's no Ricky Martin)



Merci Gilles (you're probably dead by now, but thanks anyway)

Mabrook zouzou!

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I suppose that whining is a bad sign, but that's my very honest feeling right now, take it or leave it.

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So the big guy graduated. Should I repeat the famous cliché: “it passed too fast!”. But then, maybe not, I’m too cool to repeat what others say. Saturday, my mom went to her kids’ first promotion. Neither I nor my brother ever had a promotion party in high school. She went there with my little brother. And that’s her description:

Oh Becca it was just beautiful. There were a mass and then after that they gave them those “rolled papers”. And then when Charbel’s name (My brother’s friend) was pronounced Georges (my little brother) started yelling and applauding as if he was going to go crazy.
Then they said Zouzou’s name and that when we both started applauding and yelling as if we were crazy.
Oh Becca it was so beautiful in that beautiful black graduation dress, and then they threw there hats in the air, oh Georges…Come and show your sister what did Zouzou do with the hat… Georges comes in, he was playing with something, takes the hat, and throws it as far as he could! That’s off topic? You’ll have to get used to it, because my mom incrusts various topics in one LARGE compilation.
And then we ate, it was pretty unorganized, they did not… censorship cuts off unnecessary and very very boring details …
Oh Rebecca it was so beautiful, if only you were there, if only your dad was there. I should have called him as soon as I knew We only knew about it Saturday morning.
Part of the decoration was a very sweet sort of basket, I wanted to take one, but Zouzou asked me not to, since… Censorship…
I always used to dream that you Plural form would one day graduate and I’d go and see you. I was so so happy, wish you were there. Now Georges is still far away from graduating, but you’ll graduate next year. Khay!

Me trying to reduce my mom’s enthusiasm:
Mama I’m in the National University, we have no promotions or anything
What else was I supposed to say to an Ultra happy mom:
Come on Mama, I’m probably not graduating next year, and besides, I don’t want to graduate, because then you’d realize what a loser your perfect daughter really is!?
My mom doesn’t seem to mind my inappropriate lack of enthusiasm to my own graduation.

W’iza, we’ll make you a promotion, Khay...

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Becca’s version of her brother’s graduation:

Don’t tell anyone about this people, but I’m burning with jealousy! Yes I’m simply jealous. I always was jealous of the smart successful Zouzou. I was always the white sheep, the perfect daughter, he always was the black sheep and smart ass that everybody feared (since they all failed to tame him) and everybody worshiped (the kid’s a Genius!).
I won’t sink into describing my complex relationship with my brother it can simply be resumed with two Dogmas:

1. I totally depended on him


2. I always was jealous of him

In the last few years pressure was very high on Zouzou, because he had repeatedly failed high school graduation (no he never graduated from high school). People simply pointed him with there finger saying among themselves:
“What will all his intelligence serve him if he can’t make it through high school.”
Then they’d point out the Perfect (in other terms, submissive, total freak, the one that doesn’t threat there ego) Rebecca and say:
”That’s someone who knows how to take care of herself; she finished her classes without any failure. She’s calm and decent. Very remarkable, she has a future!”
Very few people thought my brother would ever graduate. But Zouzou fucked them all! He graduated long before me, and even if there is nothing “official” about his graduation (since he never finished high school). He has found a very promising job in Orbit, well paid and even before he had finished his job (the job offer literally came knocking on his door!).
As for me. I am still here, watching everything flow around me as if I was God almighty, as if I was immune to everything around me. 2 years ago I still had faith that I would become a good biologist and that I can actually find a good spot in life, something that feels right.


Well… I still have at least 40 years to achieve that right?


( probably not).

Don't try to fix me I'm not broken

Don’t try to fix me I’m not broken!

Oh? SO you were always like this?

Um…Yes!

Wow. What loser!

Thanks

To make sense, or not to make sense

So let’s sum it up in order for it to make more sense:

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1. Nasrallah Rules Out Integrating Hizbullah into the Army :
   Like DUH!!! How do you expect Sayyed Nasrallah to pay for all those illiterate men once he will hand over the weapons (they were discouraged from going to school, by both Hezbollah and the Israeli occupation)



2. Berri Walks Out of Parliamentary Session After Heated Debate Over Syrian Summons for Jumblat
   The Question that made him lose his tempers was simple: Mr. President, you say Syria’s doors are wide open to the Prime minister, tell us Mr. President which doors are open? Diplomatic doors or Jail doors?



3. Syrian Border Guards Erect New Barrier Near Baalbek
   Should I comment on this? It’s OUR land get the fuck out! But hey. Let’s be fair, we did win in this issue in the end and they did retreat



4. 25 May: Liberation Day!
   6 years ago, when the Israelis first left the south of Lebanon everyone was happy, it was a national day for ALL Lebanon. Now only Hezbollah’s celebrating it, oh and of course Mr. Emile Lahoud.



5. U.S. State Department Calls Syrian Warrant Against Jumblat Provocation:
   Of course it’s a provocation, a rather childish one too! Excuse me, but Jumblat’s a Parliament member, he can’t be touched by these charges! And what did Jumblat say anyway? Did he call Bashar el Assad a Slave? Did he call Bassel el Assad, for example, a Dog? No he didn’t!



6. Mubarak Holds Separate Talks with Lahoud, Saniora on Lebanon-Syria Ties
   That’s what we used to do while taking care of kids (usually works better for kids younger than 13)

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So we calculate it, sum it, change it, twist it, it’s unreadable! Our politics is either constipated or constipating!

Aww!!

So my baby brother (six years old) has a new neighbor in school, and she’s drawing stuff for him. Haha, that’s so cute! He wanted to tare it apart.
A few days ago my brother was walking on the street with his mom, he starts jumping around and stuff, so his mom warns him:

- Be careful you can get ran down by a car! You can get seriously hurt!
- I die?
- Well maybe, maybe not but it’s a lot of pain!
- Would you cry for me?
- Well of course!!!
- Well Mario and Maurice wouldn’t cry for me…. But the girls in my class would cry a lot for me…

Mind you! This is the same kid that was complaining about having an allergy for girls!

Francis Cabrel

So I was sitting in the living room, hearing my mom telling me about the fascinating life style of our neighbors; an add appears on TV:

”Francis Cabrel au liban le …(maba3ref shou, maba3ref shou)… 2006”

Wow Francis Cabrel in my Lebanon!!!

Oh? You don’t know him?
Damn it, you ignorants! Francis Cabrel’s one of the most sensitive and profound French singers alive right now (at least from my point of views). I remember 5 years ago, or so, I heard a magical song, in a tender voice and accompanied by a sweet Guitar. It was the first time I hear it and all I was able to memorize from it was:

…petite Marie, je viens du ciel et les étoiles entre elles ne parlent que de toi ; d’un jeune musicien qui fait chanter ses mains sur un morceau de bois…

Translation :
…Little Mary, I came down from the sky and the stars among themselves talk only about you, about a young musician who makes his hands sing on a piece of wood…

It might mean nothing to anyone, but to me it was so sweet. Not just the exaggerated romance, but the fact that someone would sing such a song for someone. I remember asking myself, is he still with Marie? What if they broke up? Does he feel stupid for singing these songs for her? Exposing so much emotions and then realizing it was just not worth it?

I wasn’t willing to do so much for anyone and I still am not. But he had the guts to do it. I always admired that in him. Yes sure it’s a song and if he made it public it’s simply because he was hoping to make some celebrity out from that. But it was awesome and so sweet. I wish all the singers would sell that sort of words.

Not that I don’t admire Arab songs, but for each culture its own particularities, and in my culture I fail to find such a sensitivity. I find other beauties of course, but I just don’t find this.

Now almost 5 years from that I have discovered more of Cabrel’s jewels, I find them just as fascinating and just as sensitive, I even found some more “rough” songs. I also discovered Jacques Brel, Lara Fabian, Daniel Guichard, Françoise Hardy…

Last year (or maybe the year before that) Daniel guichard was in Lebanon he sang a song, but I can’t remember the lyrics of that song, it was about Lebanon (the war of course). You’d find more French songs about the Lebanese civil war than you’d find Lebanese songs or even Arab songs about it.

Oh scroll down that link you’d find out that Sean Paul’s also coming to the Byblos Festival, and 50 cents also (but I couldn’t find a link for that).

Too late too little

So some people accuse an ultra conservative priest of pedophilia, in 2006 the Vatican kindly asks him to Quit his ecclesiastic practice, while refusing to ecclesiastical trial, because the poor priest is just too old (aw how heart breaking!).

I don’t mean to be blindly criticizing the church but these measures just don’t help me feel any positive feelings.

This sucks!

Mom: Today Fadi Tébét was talking on the radio, he was talking about a TV episode on some Lebanese channel that he refused to name, because he has nothing against it (how generous of him!). This Show was depicting the Christian society as “supportive to Homosexual behavior” or as we call in the Arab world: “Sexual Deviance”. They hosted a priest and didn’t host any Sheikh! (No fucking way, they are disrespecting the sectarian balance! How could they! They are promoting the civil war... To your arms, we’re going to WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!)

Moi: Mom. Fadi Tébét is exaggerating and taking it out of its context. I know the episode he’s talking about and it wasn’t like that… (I get interrupted)

Mom: Don’t be like that, why would he go on the radio and lie about such a thing, he did mention that he has nothing against anyone. (she has a point) How do you know about this anyway, you watched the episode? (Touché)

Moi: No but I have some Homosexual online friends and they told me.

She gives me a pale desperate look and says: Well are you one of them?

Predictable huh?

Moi: I am not saying he’s lying, just that he took it out of its context. Because in his mind he can’t really think of Homosexuality without expressing some sort of resentment. But as I was saying, the episode was not saying that Christians support …

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This conversation continued for quite a while, and eventually my Mom and I agreed to disagree, and besides the big deal’s not about the argument we had, she’s been taught that Homosexuality’s obnoxious since she was a child, I don’t think there’s anything I might ever say that might change her mind, more precisely change her heart.

But what bothers me is the point when I conform to her that I am not lesbian. I have told her so thousands of times, and she always believed me. But this is the first time that she asks me, and this time I think she doesn’t believe me. I don’t know. I feel depressed about this; I didn’t want her to feel like this. I suppose it’s weird for a heterosexual to defend homosexuality so much, but I don’t “over defend it” I just respond whenever I feel that I should.

Why do we forgive

I always had a rather weird relationship with forgiving. When I was a kid I was very selfish, I used to think that my elder brother’s devilish and that he’ll go to hell when we die, I used to feel that I can’t always forgive him, that he never really regrets his actions I thought and most of all I didn’t see all the times in which he was forgiving me especially that I was never apologizing for my mistakes.

However, when I grew up forgiveness felt so awkward to me. All of a sudden forgiving became absurd. Of course being a Christian made a difference. From the bible, I understood I read:

Forgive and you shall be forgiven

So I supposed that I ought to forgive and that wasn’t really a problem. But then who am I to forgive anyone. I have my mistakes and I am not better than others. And besides, no one ever hurts me, I am not sure why but I never found the evil that so many people preach against, at least not among humans.

Hurt was the mere contradiction of interests. So if someone hurts me in order to prevent me from getting something because s/he wants that thing. In this situation isn’t this person doing its best to preserve its interests? Maybe in my idealistic mind I wouldn’t accept to achieve anything like that, but let’s face it, I can’t expect everyone to live there lives like I live mine; and besides, my idealistic mind doesn’t always prevail. It’s absurd to expect people to work for my interest!

Sometimes we DO hurt others and simply because we are jealous of them. But come on! That’s only human, I’ve seen jealous people in action and they are still just as human after there act as they were before. I can’t imagine having a grudge toward someone because of that.

I do feel that I hate people sometimes, but it never lasts long. Usually sweet social interaction is much more rewarding then the so called making them pay or even knowing I’ve been hurt, and letting them know that I know that they hurt me. That’s stupid! This is all in our heads, each and every action done against us is the result of a complex web of events.

That’s how I felt for a long time now. Basing my perspective on that I radically refused apologies, I don’t want people to apologise for me, I’d apologise to others (that doesn’t often happen, I usually just act extra nice in a way to pass the message, apologising is so damn hard!) but I don’t want them to come to me, humiliate themselves and say that did me wrong and that they are here to apologise.

To say the truth, it’s not all about the idealism of the thought. You see I, somehow, felt that I can’t forgive. What’s forgiving anyway, I know for sure that it isn’t forgetting (I never forget anything whether it’s good or bad), and I know that it isn’t just saying: yeah I forgive you , it’s certainly an inner feeling; but what feeling? Feeling that I have no grudge against that person? That’s not strictly forgiving, feelings often change with needs many people say that they have forgiven that person while in fact they just had some sort of need that could be satisfied with that person. I came to a conclusion that maybe forgiving is simply to feel regaining the old feelings toward someone after a certain transgression took place. But I still didn’t like to call this forgiveness. I just believed that word to be too much about display of dominance. I just stopped thinking about it there, whatever it is I don’t want apologies and forgiveness is overrated.

A week ago I read in “Cerveau & Psycho” about this same subject and among other things they said:

« … Le pardon s’enclenche lorsqu’un lien d’empathie suffisant a été restauré entre la victime et l’offenseur. Si l’offenseur vient expliquer son geste, s’excuser, ou simplement demander le pardon de l’autre, il établit l’équilibre d’une relation … »

To translate it :
“… Forgiveness takes place when a sufficient link of empathy is restored between the victim and the offender. If the offender explains his action, apologises, or simply asks for forgiveness, he restores a balance in the relationship…”

I felt so good to read that! It actually gave me peace. Since I decided to revisit all the values of the bible in order to make my own judgment, I was came to realize that almost all the bible’s value aim to help humans be happier, if you love for example you feel good. And somehow forgiving in itself seemed inconsistent with that philosophy. The article also gave a definition of forgiveness:

“Le pardon est le fait de vaincre son ressentiment envers un offenseur, non pas en niant son droit à ce ressentiment, mais en s’efforçant de considérer l’offenseur avec bienveillance, compassion et même amour, tout en sachant que cet offenseur, par son attitude, a renoncé à son droit à un tel comportement… »

Translation :

« Forgiving is to overcome the feeling of resentment toward an offender, not by denying one’s right to feel that resentment, but by endeavouring to look at the offender with benevolence, compassion and even love, without forgetting that the offender, through his attitude, gave away his right to be treated that way…”

Suddenly I came to realize, while reading this article, how beneficial forgiving is for me, and I was right I have forgiven people in my life, not always because they have hurt me, but because there were times when I felt hurt, and then I got along with my life and gave away those feelings in order to feel better about myself, and to regain the sweet feeling that I have when I interact with that person. I have always forgiven others, not because I am good, but because it serves me well. And I feel so much better. So Jesus was right to tell us to forgive!

Allah ysém7ak kareem, I spent two hours on this!

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This is a response to Kareem's entry (I seriously like this guy, he's so not like the type of arab guys that I dislike)

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1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
   
   (Tough question)
   Dinner guest: My paleontolgie professor, he’s over 60 years old, and makes a lot of excentric jokes, not to mention that he has such a huge general knowledge.
   Close friend: I am not sure, any of my friends, none can be called “close friend”.
   Lover: Gary, I just need to know the secret of the goatee!
   
   
   
2. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
   (tough question)
   I am not sure, I would like to be very attractive, but sacrificing 5 years of my life? I have a very non-attractive attitude I don’t see how can any physical feature help, I am not ugly as I am and attraction is mostly about attitude.
   
   
   
3. Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
   
   Work
   
   
   
4. When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
   
   By myself: a few days back when the certain difficulties kind of culminated at the same time.
   In front of another person: a few months back when I was suffering from uterine contractions and my brother was there for me, I cried on his shoulder, nothing makes the pain stop like a good doze of serotonin with someone that loves you (it’s usually my mom that plays that role, but last time she wasn’t home).
   
   
   
5. If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
   (tough question)
   I am not sure, I think that almost 80%. People seem to be so oblivious to the vanity of everything, and they sure seem content with there achievement (my mediocre achievements don’t help at all!). But I strongly believe that I have this impression because I only live my life, I don’t see the internal struggles of others.
   
   
   
6. If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
   
   
   Many friends and acquaintances, I get bored with people. Besides you always need a break.
   
   
   
7. Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?
   
   No we love others for who we are; there fore we give them the faces that we want. None can see me, so everyone sees in me what they want.
   
   
   
8. Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
   
   I have no idea! Both are agonizing
   
   
   
9. How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years?
   
   Never had long friendships, probably never will.
   
   
   
10. If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?
    
    YES! I wouldn’t give him my phone number.
    
    
    
11. Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
    
    It would depend on the reason behind this abstention. If it’s for some organic or physiological reason then I am sure we can figure out a solution, not necessarily a solution in order to have sex, but simply to feel beautiful in his eyes. If just has no interest in having sex with me, then I don’t think I can even love him. I am highly physical and sexual, it’s my nature.
    
    
    
12. If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
    
    Nah! I can auto-intoxicate myself but I can’t be happy with anyone all by myself.
    
    
    
13. Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
    (very tough question)
    I tend to secretly overrate myself, I do feel superior to all. But to be as objective as I can:
    Physical attractiveness: 5/10 (I am so insecure and socially awkward that I look like a freak, even if my physical features themselves are not that bad)
    Intelligence: 8/10 (I have no charisma or social science but I do sum enough social imitation and general knowledge to know about almost anything and to analyze almost anything, or at least pretend that I can do so)
    Personality:6/10 (I like being constantly cool and calm, but I hate being almost a sociophobic)
    
    
    
14. If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
    
    If the question is about what I would like to dream about: I don’t know I don’t see what difference it would make.
    If the question is about what I believe I am most likely to have: Sex and college, that’s all I have had in my rare dreams lately.
    
    
    
15. While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
    (tough)
    I am not sure. I can’t just shut up. I’d certainly hate my father and most probably leave the house so that I wouldn’t have to see his face again. But deep inside I’ll always doubt that maybe I misinterpreted what I saw, despite any proof I might have, I’ll keep on questioning my judgment about this. As for telling my mom, I am not sure I’d dare to say it face to face, I’d probably leave her a written note describing what I saw before leaving my home. But it’s certainly be halfway toward death for me.
    
    
    
16. If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
    
    Why can’t I be all alone with some books?
    
    
    
17. You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
    
    I’d leave him. I was suicidal too, I tried killing myself more than once and I learned many things from that. The first thing I learnt when I was leaving a note to my parents was that it was only MY fault and only MY responsibility. We live for ourselves and we commit suicide for our own failures.
    
    
    
18. What was your most enjoyable dream? Your worst nightmare?
    
    None of the dreams that I had in the past years were clearly enjoyable or not.
    Enjoyable: I don’t remember how old I was, nothing more than 8 years old. I dreamt that I have a dog (a Saint Bernard) a cat and a mouse. I was helping my uncle building his roof (yes working in the cement and everything). A big guy in a black robe (like a death angel or something) I fight with him or something and he leaves, my pets follow him, I tell them not to but they don’t listen and I’m too scared to follow them. They never come back (in other terms they die). Then the same sequel of events happens all over again (sort of like a rewind), but this time, when they follow the guy I follow them too. Then when we turn around a corner the guy disappears and my pets are saved.
    
    Worst nightmare: I was seven. I dreamt that I was going somewhere but I arrive to a sign that illustrates a witch with a chick inside her stomach (it was still moving inside her stomach), I knew this meant I had to leave but I kept going till I reached the house (it was my house by the way). I don’t know the exact events, but I end up locked inside the house running from one exit door to another and the ugly witch appearing at each door no matter how fast I run.
    
    
    
19. If by sacrificing your life you could contribute so much to the world you would be honored by all nations, would you be willing to do so? If so, would you make the sacrifice knowing that someone you thoroughly disliked would received that honor while you went unrecognized?
    Sure I would, sacrificing your life is much easier than we might think, it’s living our lives that’s so tricky. And even if the credit will go to someone that doesn’t like me. Who cares, I’m already dead, I won’t enjoy the fruits of my action among humans, and besides I’m Christian, I am supposed to sacrifice in a way that I will never take credit for it, that way my reward with god would be bigger. ;-)
    
    
    
20. Would you like your husband to be both smarter and more attractive than you are?
    
    I am not sure I don’t think I can love with someone more attractive than me, I feel insecure with people that are more attractive partners. I am usually attracted to guys with weird looks such as wild hair, rural accent, ugly faces, cute bellies (I have a weakness for guys with bellies, as long as it’s not too much), and finally small penises (I don’t measure the genitals before choosing a partner! But I sort of love the thought of a small penis; and don’t get the wrong idea I was just being bluntly honest)
    
    
    
21. You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try and correct the mistake?
    
    Nah, but I would like to get in touch with my biological child, and I would like to raise my biological child but I wouldn’t give away my baby (the one I raised of course)
    
    
    
22. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
    myself:a few hours ago.
    To Someone: never tried, NO WAY!!!
    
    
23. Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?
    
    In general it’s the male. No doubt about it. But I think it is only in the extremes that this difference is most important. When a man wants to find love for example, he faces many dilemmas, he is supposed to express a non-sexual attraction. He is supposed to display his love very often to a woman that he doesn’t really know if he loves this woman or not simply because he is not allowed any decent contact with the lady unless he is in a sort committed to her. If the guy wants to help his woman live her sexuality more freely then he will most probably be accused of trying to find a way to fuck her. While having sex it would be pretty difficult for him to please his wife because he either doesn’t know what exactly to do (and the woman will definitely not really help him with that) or he just doesn’t want to sound too sexual! Not to mention all the responsibilities that he is supposed to carry on behalf of his whole family. And so many other things.
    
    
    24- What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggle to break these habits?
    
    Terrible lack of concentration in everything I do, biting my lips, anger problems, being moody. I gave up on stopping myself from biting my lips I just keep it under control and within limits. Being moody is something that doesn’t bother me as long as I am not attempting to establish some sort of relationship with others, in that case things will soon degrade because of my mood problems. My anger problem leaves me feeling guilty and I find no way to change it. As for my lack of concentration, I need to cure it if I want to make it through college and to continue with masters or a Doctorat or simply to continue any sort of studies later on.
    
    
    
24. Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
    
    Yes sure
    
    
    
25. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly? Would you change anything about the way you are now living?
    
    I wouldn’t change much in my life. I don’t have any money to spend. I have not problems with anyone. I won’t be more religious, because my problems are with the church, I won’t go to church on Sundays even if I will die tomorrow, maybe I’d go to see the Icons, but not to pray on Sunday. I’ll probably spend the next year crying for never being able to make any change in my life as I had dreamt I would.
    
    
    
26. If you knew you would die of an incurable disease within 3 months, would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1,000 years and living a greatly extended life?
    
    No, death is a checkered flag, the end of the scary part of existence.
    
    
    
27. You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you’ve never met. Would you want to go if you had to go by yourself?
    
    I think I’d refuse the offer
    
    
    
28. If you were at a friend’s house for thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?
    
    It’d be funny, I usually prefer drinking down an ant that’s floating ant in a cup of white milk (it’s too messy to take it out!), but I wouldn’t eat a cockroach, that’s too much for me.
    
    
    30-If someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer, who unfortunately is acquitted of the crime. Would you seek revenge?
    
    No there is no point in this, for me anger is a result of my feeling of weakness and vulnerability. I’d most probably find a way to start a campaign and gather people and let everybody know about what happened to my friend.
    
    

My Paradox concerning Hayfa wehbe:

I suppose my felings toward Hayfa Wehbe are the most complex to put into words. When this woman first appeared (before becoming an absolute sex symbol), I didn’t like her. When I first saw her video clip, I thought to myself: “it’s empty, no art in it, it’s all about the money and the looks”.

I didn’t expect it to be a success though. Only it was a huge success, people memorized the song, whether they tried or not. When Hayfa started making concerts, the whole picture shifted to unveiling of the ultimate sex symbol. At that time everyone started attacking her. I felt sorry for her, honestly. Not because she was suffering from the situation (she just didn’t care), but simply because the campaign against her was unjustified. She was not stripping. She was relying on her looks for success, and if there were no one to buy her looks then she wouldn’t have become such a success.

After this, she tried to portray herself as a very innocent person. She tried to look childish and fragile. Some people think that this is her attempt to wash away the shades of sexuality of her public picture. I think that was the obvious intention. But to say the truth, the real, and less obvious, intention was to increase the sexual doze of Hayfa Whebe. Think about it, society (and especially in our open minded, sweet orient) is sexist (wow I must have been so smart to have discovered that fact!). And there are 2 corner stones of sexuality in sexist societies:

1. Virginity
   
2. Male supremacy
   

By looking childish Hayfa Whebe is looking less sexually knowledgeable and she is looking less smart. I have seen relationships in this corner of the world. Girls are supposed to be younger than guys, they are supposed to be virgins and they are supposed to know sex only through the needs of there husbands.

It’s known that guys seek easy girls for the real pleasure and virgins for the real relationships. Having both in one package is a fantasy that’s where the childish Hayfa shows up!

Anyway, after my personal experiences in life I came to like Hayfa Wehbe. I still don’t listen to her songs (who listens anyway?). But in a way, she’s a slap in the face of all the weirdos that we call men. ALL men pretend “not to care that much for Hayfa” but let’s face it, the success of Hayfa and the immergence of others (like Ruby, and Maria, and that the other 2 but I don’t know there names) is a clear sign of how much people are paying to get a bit of Hayfa! I like the way she exposed there hypocrisy.

However, I think that Hayfa Whebe’s still as coward as all the others are, despite what many people think. Tae her last song for example: All the WAWA stuff are a clear indication for sexual contact. I know it, you know it, she knows it, we all know it. But she still insisting that it’s all in people’s heads, she’s still insisting that she’s singing a song for babies, or about them. That’s so coward! If she wants to sing it let her do so, I personally encourage that (it shows all the men all the sweet stuff they’re missing by forcing us all into virginity) but why hiding behind her own shadow.

My opinion’s of no importance, but hey! I’ll give it anyway. I don’t admire Hayfa Wehbe, because she wants it all and still being safe. She wants the future to portray her as the one who broke the Taboo but she wants to remain safe!

personal thought

I must be ovulating at this time, concentrating was so difficult in my Zoology lab examination. I mean, exams are supposed to be the maximum level of stress ever! And all I was doing was to stare through the window having day dreams (it’s good that this exam is only 25% of the final lab note).

LFPM, LF, My dad and I

So my dad finally said it! I knew he disliked the LFPM. And I knew he disliked Michel Aoun. He never cared to hide all that. But the other day he actually had the guts to admit that he thinks that all LFPM members are weird, hypocrite, pretentious weak, snob “kids” that enjoy looking cool, and wearing suits even if they are wearing those to go to the there job as waiters.

Not that I am proud of my dad talking like that. I’m ashamed to see this going on all around me. The amount of mutual disrespect is annoying and disgusting.

I am trying to be as rational as possible. I am trying to have some independent view of this. And what do I get? Irrational Xenophobia everywhere!

My dad’s not THAT bad. Most of the time he criticizes the LFPM’s political perspective, and Michel Aoun’s stupidity (call me irrational if you like, but I honestly believe the guy’s stupid or demented). But yesterday he spilled it. He said he believed the LFPM members are all stupid and attracted by stupidity!

Needless to say that I have heard the opposite perspective many times on the other side of the river, since my university is a LFPM property (remember the elections?). The LFPM think that the LF members are barbaric close minded retarded people that are worthy of no pity.

It may be wisest to conclude all this saying that trying to see the thin line (aka truth), led me no where. Oh wait! It did lead me somewhere it led me to being despised by all. My dad repeatedly said that I wouldn’t know about it, I just didn’t live the war. LFPM members simply exclude my opinion because I am an LF member (remember the the LF members are barbaric close minded retarded people that are worthy of no pity. thing ?)

Well what can I say, I am happy being myself and saying provocative things (even if I usually chicken before proving any point and end up being the losing part, haha). I mean my mom thinks I’m a lesbian, while I know am not, so they can all be wrong about who I am, only I know who I am!

BYE!

Well I haven’t updated in a while and for a reason alright. Last week, my motherboard died, and for funding reasons, I am unable to neither fix it nor preserve my internet connection at home. In other terms I’m gone for good now, I MIGHT update once a week, but nothing fancy anymore. I just can’t afford it. I am not saying I am going to get bored, I have tons of books I can read, not to mention my coming exams and my second session (to redo the last semester’s failed exams). So I have a full schedule. But somehow I feel bitter. Because last year in the summer, I had everything planned. I even saved up money for my internet connection for the whole winter, and also for my magazine expenses, which covers almost everything for me, and still I had some 200$ excess, but it’s only at the start of winter that my parents told me that they can’t pay my college expenses (only 200$ but viewing my budget it’s a lot) and then they couldn’t pay for my transportation to college, and then they had to buy some new couches and they took 100$ from me. So half way to the summer, I became broke, but somehow I survived (not SOMEhow, my brother was paying for the internet and my parents for the magazines. Now my brother can’t pay anymore. SO no more internet!
I am not blaming my parents for this, I could have avoided it, I could have put my money in a bank account, but I chose not to, and I realized this would be the result, but I suppose I wanted to be better than I am.
Anyway, what’s done is done. Maybe this is for the best, who knows, who cares anyway. I subscribed today in the CCF (centre culturel français) it’s cheap and it gives me access to lots of books! Until I am able to send anything else:

Bye!!

I like Nanci, well maybe not that much, but she looks cute.

But in this picture I think I like her better........

Nanci the Vampy (notice the EYES)

Buwahaha

I have this sort of pact with the library guy in the market. He has my phone number and he calls me every time something interesting comes up, actually not anything he has a list of the magazines that I want. It’s a good symbiotic relationship. And I am pretty satisfied with it. But there is a problem, and it’s not about the librarian it’s in me (as usual). You see I have this sort of obnoxious attention-mania. I always felt invisible to others, and whenever I get the chance to please anyone I do everything I can and sometimes more. So when someone asks something from me nicely I just can’t refuse.

So every he calls me I go down to the library and buy it, meanwhile he suggests some other magazines that I don’t usually buy in case I’d be interested in the titles, sometimes I buy, sometimes not. During last year I had some money that I had saved during the summer, and so I was able to buy all the stuff I was interested in, now that I’m totally broke and borrowing money from my mom and my brother I can’t buy everything. So I have to decline many of the librarian’s suggestions. And I suffer stomach aches every time I do so, a weird feeling of unjustified guilt.

The worst is the guy’s repeated attempts to idealize the stuff that he’s suggesting, it’s not his fault he’s a salesman after all. But I hate it.

I suppose I just hate myself for being myself. I just want to be someone else.
I just feel sick

Call me feminist if you like!

A mother and her two daughters were talking about women stuff. About health pads and menstruation, about the best and worst stuff about it, bla bla bla…
In brief it’s the casual kind of chat that most girls talk about when they are reasonably close.
The brother was sitting in the next room, at a certain moment it became simply Too much for him. He just came in and said it loud and clear:

Can you ladies PLEASE not talk about this topic!!

That’s not unusual, it happens everyday. We, the ladies (or at least me the lady!) take great joy in teasing guys with these things, we like to talk about these awkward conversations in front of guys. It’s miraculous how they are disgusted!

But sometimes it’s not as light and fun. Sometimes we feel some grudge when guys refuse and reject the less sexy aspects of our feminism. Sometimes, demand there right not to hear about menstruation, and sometimes about our masturbation. Sometimes they make us feel like they don’t have to hear it. They make it clear that these topics are something we better keep to ourselves (and of course other ladies).

Don’t get me wrong, I’d never ask anyone to hear about anything that s/he doesn’t want to hear about. It’s not about that. Most of us don’t even want to talk about menstruation with anyone (not to mention to a GUY) and none of us talks about masturbating, it’s something that actually doesn’t exist in society.

The problem is that when we grew up, puberty took us by surprise, a pretty ugly surprise. Yes sure my mom had talked to me about it when I was 9, but I didn’t even want to here about my genitals. So when I had it for the first time I was devastated. I just didn’t want it. All my attempts to deny it were futile. Of course what made it worse was the fact that I was only 10 and it was accompanied with painful contractions. In brief, I refused it. I won’t go into any details, but I’ll say this:

If you could sum all the objection, refusal and disgust of all men on the face of the earth, if you could sum all that it won’t equal my refusal, my objection and my disgust! We never chose to be the way that we are, and I remember wishing I’d undergo an operation to remove my ovaries once and for all. I HATED IT.

Only, unlike men, I was forced to accept it. No one asked me and no one gave me no choices. Somehow, we (or at least I) feel it was unfair that the guys would just wash there hands from this. Why were we forced to live with this while guys don’t even want to hear about it. I suppose I don’t make much sense. In the end, I’d force no one to hear about my menstruation, but I’d never enjoy the close company of any guy that doesn’t want to hear, because I like to talk about it from time to time.

Seven Students Injured in Clash between FPM and LF Members

I don’t get it! When I heard about it last night I thought to myself:

Bullshit! Morons all of them!

The LFPM claimed to be the victim, I didn’t buy it, they all claim to be victims all the time. When I read it on the naharnet, I noticed that the injured were from the LFPM. The LFPMers officially accused the LFers of attacking them, and the LFers only defense was at first: “they were provoking us” and later it became: “it’s a bunch of intruders that did this”. In other terms, it was the LFers who attacked the LFPMers.

I don’t know, this is stupid. I mean I was there, and yes, the LFPMers were more provocative than usual, but that’s no excuse. And yes the LFPM ensured 57 seats against 14 to the LF, but that’s very normal, in fact I think in the past years, the LFPM used to get more seats than this!

It’s just surreal!

Tueni Honored on International Press Freedom Day

That’s a great honor and everything, but it won’t bring him back to life will it? It’s all what his lovers still have now, just the feeling that somehow if the world would appreciate him then his death would take even more value, and maybe we’ll start feeling that his absence doesn’t feel so bad after all.

The college election: final episode (I hope)

So elections took place today. I am perfectly pleased. As I had mentioned before I am the representative of Jean (my ex-binôme). In the last couple of days, Jean has disappointed me, and he has shown an amazing capacity to argue with people (aka those who are not bluntly supporting him).

As a result, he didn’t win. You see, he had declared himself as a neutral candidate. And in order to win in a neutral position, you need to prove that you are with everyone not against everyone!

But I said I was pleased didn’t I? Let me explain:

My faculty, is almost an LFPM property. They get almost 90% of the seats. In the Biology and Chemistry departments they are king, they get practically 100% of the seats, sometimes a few Neutrals are included but those are the neutrals that are joined to the LFPM’s list.

Well not this year and not in our class. In the other classes no change was detected. In our class, no only we had 3 lists (LFPM, LF and neutral), but an LF candidate intruded the LFPM list and the result was as following (the names are merely the nicknames they are known in class with):

1- Yoga (LFPM):36 votes
2- Mondo (LFPM): 33 votes
3- Naji (LF):33 votes

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4- Karine (LFPM) : 32 votes
5- Marie (LF) :29 votes
6- Jean : 21 votes

As it is clear, Mondo and naji had both 33 votes, in other terms it was a tie between them. And also notice that the results were very close the difference between Jean and Yoga is merely 15 votes! My first source of Satisfaction was the simple fact that our class it won’t be the LFPM playground, there will be diversity.

You would have been more shocked if you would have been inside the room when the votes were counted; there were no respect for lists, people invented there own lists. People stroke names, named others. That’s awesome this means that my colleagues were very cautious. They chose, not based on political segregation, but based on there own view. That’s by far my biggest source of satisfaction today.

The only setback today was the fact that the 2 female candidates were excluded. Especially that the Biology and chemistry departments witness a clear predominance of ladies. This proves to me, yet again, that we the ladies prefer leaving our class for guys. That sucks (even I voted for 2 guys and 1 girl, I only realized that we have lost the war of sexes when I saw that Karine was excluded since Marie’s loss wasn’t a surprise).

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Update

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Another setback was the violent confrontation between the groups in college, it all happened after my departure (no I am not implying that my absence was the cause behind it, haha). It’s rare to see such problems in my faculty.

Why I like Arabs

A few years ago, when the Christian front was repressed by the Lebanese Pro Syrian regime, the only power we had was the power that they don’t really hold on to.

One of those fields was Basketball. You see, in Lebanon, even Sports are sectarian:
- Football’s Muslim
- Basketball’s Christian
Ironically our most prestigious Basketball team was the Sporting (west beirut→Sunnite)

But ANYWAY… the point is that since the end of the 90s the Christians were so fund of Basketball (for political reasons DUH!!). Now that the political liberation resulted in the decline of the Lebanese love for that sport.

People don’t watch it anymore…Unless… It’s against a SYRIAN team. Today was one of those days. And the match was tough. In the 3rd quarter, we had a 5 points advance. A foul was whistled a technical foul on a Syrian Player. The Syrian guy was so pissed off that he started yelling and cursing in the face of the referee and when the latter turned his face away, the player slightly pushed the referee’s shoulder, naturally the referee gave him a disqualifying foul.

Things escaladed from there, it took an army of colleagues to pin him down, they even tore his shirt off. And as usual the Syrian team decided to drop the game and left. LoL beating Arabs is always fun (well at least when it comes to Syrians, Algerians, Gulf teams and Egyptians) once they feel the pressure they are most likely to quit.

College politics II

I kind of felt this was going to happen, I am sort of neutral, and I am especially not against anyone. But still when I became jean’s representative I was sort of considered LFer, same as he is considered as LFer.
This sucks big time.
Especially that the neutral group of my class, and we are not negligible, are actually scattered among groups. Just today I was shyly informed that Jean had an argument with the other neutrals’ group, because they didn’t let him know about there efforts for a unified list. Apparently he thinks they owed him! Anyway I was treated like an alien by an old friend of mine, she’s another neutral with whom Jean had that argument with.
I feel particularly silly because for the last week I insisted that I was a very enthusiastic supporter of the neutrals, how I wanted Charbel and Diana to become Delegues. I don’t know I thought that maybe if Jean wanted me to become his representative he should have warned me about his disputes with others. I don’t know I am planning to ask her about it tomorrow maybe.

French absurdity:

French people have an absurde thing they call: ”homonyme”
It is used to indicate two words having the same pronunciation but have different meanings.

For example:

• Saint (=Saint) and sein (=Breast).
  Who would want to take a Saint for a breast!

Bière (coffin) and Bierre (bier)
I suppose French people are trying to dissuade youth from drinking alcohol from consuming alcohol by associating it with a death symbol!

Sang (Blood) and Sans (without)
SO bloodless would be: Sans Sang…. What a cacophonie!

Cou (neck) and Coût (price)
Hm Those french people are watching to many Mafia movies: Yo pay dis wid yo neck. Yo hear me stooped? Wid yo NECK!

Cour (a king’s court) and Court (short)
You’ll have to excuse them, you see French kings were always physically “awkward” a bald wears a wig, and a short king shortens his court, so by natural selection, the whole French court ends up pretty short.

Curé (priest) and Curer (to heal)
Now this is totally absurd!!!

égayer (to make gay, happy) and Aiguayer (to wash, or to give a bath)
Aiguaye moi et égaye moi !

Fichu (fucked up) and Fichu (check the pic)
Think of it this way: Put a guy with a woman, wearing a fichu, in a private place, leave them for 15 minutes, if she still has her Fichu then he is fichu.

Hème (the biomolecule in the heart of red cell of the blood) aime (love, as in I love you)
I aime you, you are the hème of my life

Jars (a male goose) and Jarre (a jar)
A human Jars should is like any other Jar, silent, motionless and should be put on a shelf for more security

Lest (heavy material put on the bottom of a ship) Leste (light, yeah like opposite to heavy!)
Now who’s responsible for this absurdity?

Mari (husband) and marri (pissed off)
Well afterall, husbands are always pissed off, or pissing off.

Moeurs (customs) and Meurt (dies)
reminds me of something: Rules are made to be broken

Mais (but), Mai (5th month of the year), mets (Food), Mets (put), Mes (my in plural)
Mix it all up and the result is: Mais! Mets mes mets here before Mai…