- Yesterday I was sleepless, at 2 am my eyes were wide open (OIO).
- Found a dead rat/mouse in the elevator
- Arrived at college, I had an exam, nothing alarming, English. No one seemed
concerned with the English test, they were all discussing the botany exam (the 2nd exam we’ll have the day after tomorrow). I found that funny. At a certain moment I have the silly idea of asking a friend of mine: “we have English today, right?”
She gave me the weirdest look … I’ll spare you the péripétie … In brief, we had the English exam on Monday! I didn’t even know…
- I wanted to study, but what can I study, this is the toughest exam, and I was relying on these couple of days to do “something”… I didn’t study anything. I went into the exam, did 15% of the whole sheet. Went out, it took only 10 minutes.
- there were no cabs, had to walk for 250m! My feet were so numb and my heart was so heavy, it really wasn’t a pleasure to walk.
- Had to wait for 15 fucking minutes for a bus
- 10 minutes before arriving to my home, I noticed that it was only 8:45 am, I can’t possibly go home at that time, the exam’s duration’s 3hours. My mom will definitely nag me about coming home, and then I’d have to tell her everything. I don’t want to!
- I don’t step down from the bus in the usual place, I went a few more Kilometers, it wasn’t enough space to take another bus back home, that would only take a few minutes, so I walk back home
- I arrive home at 10:40 am, my mom calls me: Becca?! Shu? Why are you so early?
Wallaw ya mama? The exam starts at 7:30 (Pinochiometer: Danger)
Did you do well?
How bad was it?
Come on mom, I don’t need this. I hate these questions, I don’t know, I have no Idea (Pinochio-meter: SOS, massive lying!!! I only solved 15% of the whole thing)
- No electricity→ no TV & no internet
- My Uterus’ yelling at me… NO SHIT!!! Like NOW? I really don’t need this. I take a panadol and cross my fingers
- Maybe I can sleep?....No
- SO, my last resort, auto increase of serotonin and dopamine levels…ahem…you don’t need to hear about that…
I won’t talk to you about my emotional despair, it’s just beyond description. But I’m feeling better; I can still fix this, with some lying and reality twisting, and a lot of luck. I just have one question for all of you adults:
How the hell did you survive? How did you get over college and all and found your place in this world?
P.S.: I will soon go back to the posting frequency predicted a few weeks ago, in other terms, once a week, hope I don’t go nuts.