Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Professor Pazpaz for social weirdness and Arab psychoness:

Good evening everyone and welcome to today’s episode of

“Ibtaçim anta loubnany”


(Smile, you’re Lebanese, for the thick minds among you).

In today’s episode we will discuss the issue of Maameltein. As most Lebanese people know, Maameltein is a very tourist costal area in Lebanon, Famous for its lovely beaches and its many illegal Super Night Clubs (Super Night Club in the Lebanese Dictionary=somewhere you can go watch girls and order some of them), in such places weirdos pile up and hit on anything that moves, with a slight preference to the things that actually move on 2 legs. SO when you are going to the beach for some reason, the place of choice would be Maameltein, but not THE Maameltein, just the regular one.

So My dear Lebanese fellows if you have ever been there, and have something to talk to us about, or any question you want to ask, please just give us a call.




Ring Ring




Allo?

Allo!

Allo

Allo!

Allo…

Allo!

Allo, I’m hearing you.

Allo! Professér?

Yes, would you like to share something with us? Or ask a question?

Question

Go ahead

I was walking on foot in Maameltein today

….



…And?

And I saw a girl…

…And?

And she was walking… SO I waited till she was just next to me and then I said: Shu?... (you know, the Lebanese for “what?”)

…And?

And what? That’s it

What about the ques…um…never mind, thank you very much for calling.



Ring Ring




Allo?

Ahlen… I have a big problem and I need your help

Go ahead

I was today on Maameltein, and there were this girl walking alone on the street, you know …That weird girl called Rebecca…

Yes, the same one our friend from the first call saw too.

Yes. Anyway, I saw her walking she seemed to be suffering from something, she was walking all alone, and I was in my white, rusty, old pick-up van. I passed by her the first time. Then I turned back and passed by her again, this time I stopped a 100m ahead of her.
I really felt sorry for her!
So when she passed by me, I asked her, using my sweetest voice: “can I take you somewhere?”
She didn’t even look me in the eye! Just kept going her way, the WHORE!!!
But I really couldn’t leave her all alone on the street (notice what a gentleman I am), so I drove another 100m. Stopped. Waited. Asked again: “Can I take you somewhere?”
Again she ignores me!!
So I start driving beside her, repeating my offer.
Did she get in the car? No!
Did she say: “no thank you I can’t, you’re very nice”? NO!
No really she was so cruel. So I got pissed of, said: “You have a tongue, right?”
That must’ve made her realize what a bitch she is!

My question is…Why?! Why are girls so mean to us guys, all I wanted was to take her for a ride and then figure out a way to fuck her!


Hm, I see. Well Mr.Jerk, you’ll have to forgive our friend Rebecca. You see Ms. Rebecca Simply knows people like you. And, as most girls in Lebanon, she is not attracted by your rusty pick-up. Against all appearances, women cannot be resumed to a small vagina attached to some spherical stuff (breasts, ass…). A woman is also attached to a very important organ called brain, that organ is reduced to a useless appendix in the Homo Jerkus species (your species).
Unfortunately, this organ prevents women from copulating with any Homo jerkus.
My advice to you is:
Masturbate regularly, preferably more than twice/day, after all, it’s perfectly OK to masturbate, but it’s not perfectly OK to harass every woman on earth, just because you can.
I hope I didn’t bore or confuse yet…?


Can you rephrase that?

Rou7 nték!...Clear enough?



toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot




Oh! He’s gone. Well…ahem…that concludes today’s episode of

“Ibtaçim anta loubnany”


Bye and take care!

8 comments:

shlemazl said...

LoL! Not just Arabs that do this. I've seen this in Armenia, albeit not quite as bad as what you are describing. Perhaps it has something to do with the hot "southern" blood?

Faisal said...

Amazing post! I'm Egyptian, not Lebanese. I'm a guy, not a girl. BUT, I know what you're talking about. It's just as bad here in Cairo... and it happens everywhere.

In all honesty, I don't know why it's done.

On a lighter note, I love the way you wrote your story.

Herlock Sholmes said...

"And, as most girls in Lebanon, she is not attracted by your rusty pick-up."

Maybe a BMW or Mercedes would have yielded different results.

jokerman said...

Perhaps it has something to do with chauvinism & male inferior complexes?

KareemFromEgypt said...

rou7 ntek LOL

i love the lebanese accent as much as the next egyptian guy too pazuzu

shame on you and Cup of malice for not telling me about your secret affair :p

i thought i replied to your post about gazmas 7arimi but anyway it seems my connection wasn't working that day


very nice story, well wrote and put an interesting view on a daily problem that girls face all over the world (at least in egypt, lebanon, armenia as shlemazl said, morroco, tunisia, and several other arab countries)

Pazuzu said...

shlemazl:
it's about over frustrated, apparently over powered, idiots!

But then again you gave me a good idea, we have a very important group of armenian people, immigrants back from the genocide, we can now blame them for this absurde behavior.


Faisal:
>Amazing post! I'm Egyptian, not Lebanese. I'm a guy, not a girl.

...I harass, I don't get harassed :P no just kidding, thanks, glad you enjoyed reading, I enjoyed writing, but didn't enjoy living that.

herlock:
Out of experience I say this, it's preferable NOT to get attracted to stranger cars, even if it's a jet plane

Jokerman:
I don't know. I am not sure if men feel inferior, you people would know better, but they are major chauvinists! (is chauvinist a correct word?)

Kareem:
Wow, I didn't know my Lebanese accent is such a strong weapon! I should use it more often.
And about cup of malice and I... Well, it was supposed to be a secret, but he blew it. Jerkus! Anyway we still have a special spot for you, don't worry

KareemFromEgypt said...

is that an invitation for a threesome ya pazuzu?
by the way i thought you were older than 21

Pazuzu said...

... ahem... I'll ignore that question haha

about my age, well I think I mentioned it before but anyway, is that a compliment? I'll take as a compliment and just say merci