Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The average conversation with the pest that some accuse of being my brother

He enters the living room, his dad and I were both reading. He sits on a sofa trying hard to look sick (this was on Sunday evening)

Shoo
No response
Shoo? Sleepy?
No I'm just sick
Ah! Salemtac... Come sit next to me
Ok... Can I come with my blanket?
Ah...Sure!
He puts his head on my lap
I'm sick you know? Now my dad and I are both sick!
Hmmm... Well, technically, you're not "really" sick, you have no fever
Bass... iza lhibt rif2ateh... [But if I inflame my friends]
Don't worry. You won't
Make me laugh
huh?
Say something to make me laugh
No
Why not?
I'm reading
Tell me about Zouzouwhen he was young
No
Why not
I'm reading
Sing Chevalier de la table ronde
Pazuzu starts singing... Why on earth would anyone want to hear that?
Ok your turn
He sings... My god he's even worse, I just feel sorry for my dad that he had to hear us both!
Ok, now what?
Sing Hanna Ssekran
That's a Lebanese song about an alcoholic guy named Hanna (John) that's hoplessly in love with the girl next door (The neighbor's daughter as we say)
I like Hanna Ssekran
Me too
He must’ve loved the neighbor’s daughter a lot…
At this point my brother certainly starts feeling embarrassed and tries to make me shut up
…Sends her flowers… sings for her… draws her…
Shut up
If she loved him back… DO you think they would have kissed each other?
Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’
Or maybe get married
Berk
Lek? What does he do for a living anyway?
He drinks alcohol
How would he pay for that?
With money
Where would he get the money from
From Gold
…?
He gets money that he sells to get money that he uses to drink alcohol
And where does he get the gold from?
From the tunnel in the mountain
Gold mine?
NO! A tunnel! A tunnel in the mountain
um… Ok. What about the neighbors’ daughter? What does she work in?
She drinks coffee
??? Where does she pay for that from?… she works in a coffee company?
Yes
hahaha… Ok what about food?
The neighbors’ Mother cooks for them.
How does the neighbors’ mother get the money for that from?
Hanna Ssekran pays for it
From his tunnel in the mountain?
No! he uses the tunnel to get the money and the money to buy stuff
Ahh silly me!
Ok, what about the neighbors’ father?
He is the Master of a company
Don’t say it’s the coffee company that the neighbors’ daughter work in!
YES!
Ok! Ok!! What about Hanna Ssekran’s parents?
Nsiteh? They are too old to work
So Hanna pays for his parents, the neighbors’ daughter and the neighbors’ parents, right?
Yes… his brothers and sisters also
He has brothers and sisters?
Yes..(thinks for a while) …80
Ya 3adra waynik?! Is he one of Hezbollah or something? Does the neighbors’ daughter have brothers and sisters also?
Yes… 100
Haha… Just out of curiosity, when Hanna Ssekran’s parents were still young what did they work in?
A factory, a factory that makes powder milk and bottles for babies
Ah! That explains a lot! Now I need to continue reading before you start telling me the names of the brothers and sisters
Sing again for me
No
Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And the story goes on and on, but out of compassion for all of you I will omit those details.

7 comments:

Chris in MB said...

hehe, In order to properly follow up this post you need to post an audio clip with your singing! :P

shlemazl said...

:-)

spookyprods said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spookyprods said...

NICE ONE :D
Hey maybe the pest that calls himself my brother and the one that call himself your bro are related .

it's chantal btw . forgot my password to my google account so signed in with my blogger :D

Einmal said...

Chris:
Dream on!

Chantal:
LoL! all pests that call themselves our brothers are related

Jos said...

How cute! :-))

Hey, Chantal and Pazuzu, you can add my bro to the 'pest list' as well.

Chris is right, an audio clip would be a great idea! :P

Einmal said...

lol now we have a pest-club

I just love to see others suffer too