Tuesday, October 31, 2006

So… What about fellatio:

Once upon a time, there were a meticulous, careful and very professional scientist that I enjoy calling myself. Myself made an interesting entry a couple of weeks ago about the health effects of cunnilingus… Or at least one of its effects. And over the last few weeks myself has tried to investigate the cunnilingus’ closest cousin… Fellatio (or fellation).

The first lesson I learnt was actually a spelling lesson: it is written with an “F” and not a “PH” as I have always thought (it’s kind of funny that I have never searched it).

The second lesson I learnt was… linguistic: The word fellatio derives from the latin: fellare meaning: to suck. I wonder if there’s any connection? Haha.

Anyway, to the serious part:

Unlike cunnilingus, fellatio can include two radically different factors. The strict fellare act and the contact with any potential secretions. Of course in the case of cunnilingus this division is meaningless since vaginal secretions and microflora are constantly in contact with the partner, while in the case of fellatio the partner might choose to exclude any potential fluid from the contact.


I was sadly disappointed to notice that there can be little (if any at all) benefit for the partner. Even though I couldn’t find any clear information about it, I can say that the man’s penis is an external organ. It’s covered with an external epithelium, naturally more hostile to microflora. Of course, microbes are everywhere, but the penis has a microbal population very similar to the rest of the body (notably the skin) so the woman might as well lick her own body! A woman’s genitals are different, the vagina is more or less hidden from the rest of the body, there are many folds that isolate the internal part and block fluid (more or less). In addition, a vagina is constantly wet (in variable degrees). All these factors create a unique environment that differs from the rest of the body. That’s sadly not the case with men.

But men are resourceful and therefore have another arsenal of substances.

The Semen

Yes, I know many ladies (and gentlemen) don’t like to think about that possibility and would certainly prefer avoiding talking about its nutritional value. But let’s face it, it’s produced in the honor of the partner, shouldn’t that make anyone feel special?

Semen is a very complex and interesting substance as you will notice:

  1. Some substances are really gross and not appetizing such as Urea and Uric acid. Yuck! But don’t worry it’s in a small percentage, since the body makes sure to evacuate the urethra before the actual ejaculation (I wouldn’t recommend in this case any ingestion of precum, because that’s the body’s Urethra-cleaner). The body needs to clean the Urethra to preserve the health of the man’s body.
  2. Water, well that’s not a surprise. But don’t try to use it for dehydration cases. Consider it like a coke, it might contain water but it’s not good against thirst.
  3. Bicarbonate buffers. This is very interesting. The buffers maintain a stable pH in its environment, which is essential for surviving. When a person suffers from some stroke or anything temporarily blocking the breathing process, the acidity of the blood (resulting from accumulation of CO2) is reduced to a more neutral level by the blood’s buffers. Buffers are also used in the digestive system and play a major role in preventing parasitic infection. Unfortunately, the stomach’s pH is not neutral (=7) it’s significantly lower therefore the stomach is acidic. If I am not mistaking the stomach’s buffer is Nitric acid. Bicarbonate is an alkalizing buffer, it keeps the pH above 7. Introducing this substance to the stomach will actually get it closer to neutrality, thus facilitating viral infections ( <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
  4. Cholesterol and other lipids have a bad reputation but in fact they are essential for the body… swallowing is not recommended for people with high cholesterol levels.
  5. Fructose. When I read this I was kind of surprised. Even though I knew that simple sugars are abundant in semen (the little wiggly things need energy) but usually the body uses glucose and not fructose.

    Anyway, fructose is good news, and if you calculate the calorific value of semen than it is estimated as slightly less than one calorie. Which doesn’t seem much but an ejaculation is only between 2 and 5 ml, so in fact it’s VERY energetic.

    Swallowing is not recommended for people with diabetes.
  6. Zinc, Calcium and Phosphate are extremely useful for the body, even in small proportions. Especially Calcium (why am I starting to feel I am talking about milk?) and Phosphate (I know it’s good for gardening but in fact the body needs it as well).
  7. Ascorbic acid and Vitamin B12. Oh come on ladies, now you have to reason to complain. We pay money for multivitamin pills and then refuse an offer that would provide it for free!

    Did I mention that ascorbic acid is the scientific name for the vitamin C?
  8. Citric acid. In spite of the impression one might take, semen is alkaline. It might contain acids but that’s overshadowed by the presence of spermine and spermidine, but most of all with the presence of bicarbonate buffers.
  9. Proteins and enzymes Certainly, you don’t need to be clever to guess that the semen would contain proteins, but don’t try to commercialize it as a meat substitute! It’s mainly hormones, but not testosterone, so don’t you ladies worry about facial hair or something.
    The main enzymes in this case are: spermine and spermidine (Duh!). These are powerful bactericides… wow guys, all you need is some pesticide in there and you’ll be perfect for gardening.

Shlemazl, you mentioned the stimulation of immunity. I think that’s more about the copulation act, due to many factors such as the alkalinity of the semen (a vagina is acid) and the presence of bactericides (vaginas rely on microbes and bacteriae) and probably other factors. This would stimulate the genitals in a healthy way but I am not certain on the effect on the digestive system.

To sum it up, I admit that, putting my personal experience aside, I have no magic answer about this. After all sex is all about the fun, I know most people find sperm totally disgusting, but to be objective and scientific… It isn’t so bad, is it?

When I was writing this, I couldn’t help wondering about the exact constitution of the vaginal secretions… Maybe some other time!


shlemazl said...

Wow. You sure put some thought into this. I'll have to come back and study the subject in a little more detail.

shlemazl said...

O'K; I've done some studying. I also carried out interactive statistical analysis based on Monte Carlo stimulation supported by extensive empirical field work.

My earlier conclusion has been validated. It is also supported by these references:

[1]. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1803978.stm Sex 'primes woman for sperm' BBC News

[2] Taylor RN (1997) "Review: Immunobiology of preeclampsia" American Journal of Reproductive Immunology Volume 37 pp. 79-86

[3] Chaouat et al., (2005) "Fourth International Workshop on Immunology of Pre-eclampsia, December 2004, Reunion, France" Journal of Reproductive Immunology Volume 67 pp. 103-111

Sperm is good for women whichever way it enters the body.

Haroun El Poussah said...

So, The natural question is: Does it taste good?

Einmal said...

I do not deny your claims but I still believe that a woman's vagina is more essential and beneficial ... or maybe do I just think that women are better than guys?;)

you tell us... just taste it and let us know