Monday, September 11, 2006


OK, this is funny, I love my Mom but sometimes she just becomes excessively protective. These conversations took place on Wednesday the day before I went to the helem headquarter:

part I

Mom: So, do you have any plans for tomorrow? I need to go to your brother’s school, maybe you can take care of him for an hour.

Becca: Sure, I am only busy in the afternoon

Mom: Really? Where?

Becca: In Hamra

*Laughs* [to be honest, you can’t blame her for laughing I never go out of home, and usually that’s either with my cousin or just for a walk, so it didn’t sound right]

Becca: You think I’m joking?

Mom: You’re serious?!

Becca: Uhh…. Yes!

Mom: Hamra?! What’s in Hamra?!

Becca: I’m just meeting some friends that I used to be in contact with through internet
[Oh come on! You didn’t think I’ll just tell her I’m going to meet a group of homosexuals that I consider as friends?!]

Mom: Nshallah you’re not going to meet some Gays and Lesbians?
[I suppose a mother’s heart always knows!]

* Laughs *

Mom: And why in Hamra? Do you know where that is? That’s in the Gharbiyyeh [That’s Lebanese for West Beirut]?!

Becca: Relax mama, I know these people

Mom: When?

Becca:Around 6 pm

Mom: Shu?! Why so late?!

Becca: I don’t know, Mom, probably work and stuff

Mom: Boy or girl

Becca: A GROUP of people

Mom: Why in Hamra?! Why can’t they come here?!

* Ignores the question *

At this point a long conversation takes place, in which she expresses her concerns about me going to West Beirut, ALONE to meet people that my Mom never met. I mainly nodded, laughed and giggled (especially when she repeated: In Hamra?!)

Part II: In the evening, 5 minutes after my dad came home

Mom: You know? You’re daughter’s going out tomorrow… In HAMRA, she’s meeting people she had met on the Internet

Dad: Really?
[Then he looks at me] DO you know how to get there?

Becca: Well, I won’t get lost, I will ask the bus drivers

Dad: Well go to Nahr L-Mott then take bus #2

Becca: Ok, thanks

Mom: Hamra?!

Silence for a while… Almost 15 minutes, then my Mom addresses me again

Mom: You know if you marry a Hezbollah I’ll lose my mind

Ok I can understand her concerns, really, I do, but when did Hezbollah get into the picture?! Hezbollah doesn’t even spread in the heart of West Beirut, and when did I ever appear as a big fan of Hezbollah? And where did all the “I trust your judgment” bullshit go? I couldn’t help laughing real hard.

Becca: You know mama, I am going to tell them this is what you think!

Mom: Don’t do that!… It would be impolite

Starting from this point I’m constantly laughing

Becca: Ok, just a question… What about a Jew? Can I marry a Jew?

Mom: Oh a Jew is no problem, I wouldn’t mind you marrying a Jewish person
Then she turns to my dad to get a conformation What do you think? If a Jewish man and a Hezbollah both want to take your daughter, wouldn’t you prefer a Jew?

Becca: Now mama! When did I ever turn into a tomato that you and my Dad choose who to sell to?

Mom: Yes, go ahead, be mean to me. It’s my fault that I care

Becca: Ok, ok… What about a Muslim Lebanese?

Mom: Well, I wouldn’t stop you… But you know what I think about it

Becca:Ok, what about a Muslim Arab ?

Mom: So that’s what’s on your mind!!! You want to marry an Egyptian Muslim guy!! I knew it!

Moms are so cute! I just feel sorry for putting her through all this.

Oh, and if you are wondering where did the Egyptian Muslim came from?… Well I have no idea. Why Egyptian, I thought she’d fear a Syrian Muslim as a priority but an Egyptian?


Due to some problems I failed to meet the witch I was supposed to meet which disappointed me badly, but my doesn't know it, so she's still nagging me about HAMRA?! so SHHH! Don't tell her


KareemFromEgypt said...

an egyptian muslim guy

so it's true that lebanese women like egyptian guys

so, eh ra2yek? tetgawezeeny?

shlemazl said...

I am with your mum. You should marry a Jew. Jews are the best by far, particularly in bed. Just ask my wife :-)

Pazuzu said...

... how should I put it? yes we like egyptian men, there's just something about that "egyptian look" and attitude, or maybe it's just the big lips and the cute accent

taking it to the simple statistic level, I believe it will be difficult to find a jewish guy to marry. As for jews being good in bed, I heard the rumor but I never tested it myself so it's still just a rumor

Jos said...

You went there alone?? You should've told me! Next time take me with you, I wanna meet the 'witch' too ;)