Mom: So, do you have any plans for tomorrow? I need to go to your brother’s school, maybe you can take care of him for an hour.
Becca: Sure, I am only busy in the afternoon
Mom: Really? Where?
Becca: In Hamra
Mom: *Laughs* [to be honest, you can’t blame her for laughing I never go out of home, and usually that’s either with my cousin or just for a walk, so it didn’t sound right]
Becca: You think I’m joking?
Mom: You’re serious?!
Becca: Uhh…. Yes!
Mom: Hamra?! What’s in Hamra?!
Becca: I’m just meeting some friends that I used to be in contact with through internet [Oh come on! You didn’t think I’ll just tell her I’m going to meet a group of homosexuals that I consider as friends?!]
Mom: Nshallah you’re not going to meet some Gays and Lesbians? [I suppose a mother’s heart always knows!]
Becca * Laughs *
Mom: And why in Hamra? Do you know where that is? That’s in the Gharbiyyeh [That’s Lebanese for West Beirut]?!
Becca: Relax mama, I know these people
Becca:Around 6 pm
Mom: Shu?! Why so late?!
Becca: I don’t know, Mom, probably work and stuff
Mom: Boy or girl
Becca: A GROUP of people
Mom: Why in Hamra?! Why can’t they come here?!
Becca * Ignores the question *
At this point a long conversation takes place, in which she expresses her concerns about me going to West Beirut, ALONE to meet people that my Mom never met. I mainly nodded, laughed and giggled (especially when she repeated: In Hamra?!)
Mom: You know? You’re daughter’s going out tomorrow… In HAMRA, she’s meeting people she had met on the Internet
Dad: Really? [Then he looks at me] DO you know how to get there?
Becca: Well, I won’t get lost, I will ask the bus drivers
Dad: Well go to Nahr L-Mott then take bus #2
Becca: Ok, thanks
Silence for a while… Almost 15 minutes, then my Mom addresses me again
Mom: You know if you marry a Hezbollah I’ll lose my mind
Ok I can understand her concerns, really, I do, but when did Hezbollah get into the picture?! Hezbollah doesn’t even spread in the heart of West Beirut, and when did I ever appear as a big fan of Hezbollah? And where did all the “I trust your judgment” bullshit go? I couldn’t help laughing real hard.
Becca: You know mama, I am going to tell them this is what you think!
Mom: Don’t do that!… It would be impolite
Starting from this point I’m constantly laughing
Becca: Ok, just a question… What about a Jew? Can I marry a Jew?
Mom: Oh a Jew is no problem, I wouldn’t mind you marrying a Jewish person Then she turns to my dad to get a conformation What do you think? If a Jewish man and a Hezbollah both want to take your daughter, wouldn’t you prefer a Jew?
Becca: Now mama! When did I ever turn into a tomato that you and my Dad choose who to sell to?
Mom: Yes, go ahead, be mean to me. It’s my fault that I care
Becca: Ok, ok… What about a Muslim Lebanese?
Mom: Well, I wouldn’t stop you… But you know what I think about it
Becca:Ok, what about a Muslim Arab ?
Mom: So that’s what’s on your mind!!! You want to marry an Egyptian Muslim guy!! I knew it!
Moms are so cute! I just feel sorry for putting her through all this.
Oh, and if you are wondering where did the Egyptian Muslim came from?… Well I have no idea. Why Egyptian, I thought she’d fear a Syrian Muslim as a priority but an Egyptian?
Due to some problems I failed to meet the witch I was supposed to meet which disappointed me badly, but my doesn't know it, so she's still nagging me about HAMRA?! so SHHH! Don't tell her