Monday, September 11, 2006

Hamra?!

OK, this is funny, I love my Mom but sometimes she just becomes excessively protective. These conversations took place on Wednesday the day before I went to the helem headquarter:


part I


Mom: So, do you have any plans for tomorrow? I need to go to your brother’s school, maybe you can take care of him for an hour.

Becca: Sure, I am only busy in the afternoon

Mom: Really? Where?

Becca: In Hamra

Mom:
*Laughs* [to be honest, you can’t blame her for laughing I never go out of home, and usually that’s either with my cousin or just for a walk, so it didn’t sound right]

Becca: You think I’m joking?

Mom: You’re serious?!

Becca: Uhh…. Yes!

Mom: Hamra?! What’s in Hamra?!

Becca: I’m just meeting some friends that I used to be in contact with through internet
[Oh come on! You didn’t think I’ll just tell her I’m going to meet a group of homosexuals that I consider as friends?!]

Mom: Nshallah you’re not going to meet some Gays and Lesbians?
[I suppose a mother’s heart always knows!]

Becca
* Laughs *

Mom: And why in Hamra? Do you know where that is? That’s in the Gharbiyyeh [That’s Lebanese for West Beirut]?!

Becca: Relax mama, I know these people

Mom: When?

Becca:Around 6 pm

Mom: Shu?! Why so late?!

Becca: I don’t know, Mom, probably work and stuff

Mom: Boy or girl

Becca: A GROUP of people

Mom: Why in Hamra?! Why can’t they come here?!

Becca
* Ignores the question *

At this point a long conversation takes place, in which she expresses her concerns about me going to West Beirut, ALONE to meet people that my Mom never met. I mainly nodded, laughed and giggled (especially when she repeated: In Hamra?!)





Part II: In the evening, 5 minutes after my dad came home


Mom: You know? You’re daughter’s going out tomorrow… In HAMRA, she’s meeting people she had met on the Internet

Dad: Really?
[Then he looks at me] DO you know how to get there?

Becca: Well, I won’t get lost, I will ask the bus drivers

Dad: Well go to Nahr L-Mott then take bus #2

Becca: Ok, thanks

Mom: Hamra?!


Silence for a while… Almost 15 minutes, then my Mom addresses me again

Mom: You know if you marry a Hezbollah I’ll lose my mind

Ok I can understand her concerns, really, I do, but when did Hezbollah get into the picture?! Hezbollah doesn’t even spread in the heart of West Beirut, and when did I ever appear as a big fan of Hezbollah? And where did all the “I trust your judgment” bullshit go? I couldn’t help laughing real hard.

Becca: You know mama, I am going to tell them this is what you think!

Mom: Don’t do that!… It would be impolite

Starting from this point I’m constantly laughing

Becca: Ok, just a question… What about a Jew? Can I marry a Jew?

Mom: Oh a Jew is no problem, I wouldn’t mind you marrying a Jewish person
Then she turns to my dad to get a conformation What do you think? If a Jewish man and a Hezbollah both want to take your daughter, wouldn’t you prefer a Jew?

Becca: Now mama! When did I ever turn into a tomato that you and my Dad choose who to sell to?

Mom: Yes, go ahead, be mean to me. It’s my fault that I care

Becca: Ok, ok… What about a Muslim Lebanese?

Mom: Well, I wouldn’t stop you… But you know what I think about it

Becca:Ok, what about a Muslim Arab ?

Mom: So that’s what’s on your mind!!! You want to marry an Egyptian Muslim guy!! I knew it!





Moms are so cute! I just feel sorry for putting her through all this.

Oh, and if you are wondering where did the Egyptian Muslim came from?… Well I have no idea. Why Egyptian, I thought she’d fear a Syrian Muslim as a priority but an Egyptian?






Update




Due to some problems I failed to meet the witch I was supposed to meet which disappointed me badly, but my doesn't know it, so she's still nagging me about HAMRA?! so SHHH! Don't tell her

4 comments:

KareemFromEgypt said...

an egyptian muslim guy
hmmm...

so it's true that lebanese women like egyptian guys

so, eh ra2yek? tetgawezeeny?

shlemazl said...

I am with your mum. You should marry a Jew. Jews are the best by far, particularly in bed. Just ask my wife :-)

Pazuzu said...

Kareem:
... how should I put it? yes we like egyptian men, there's just something about that "egyptian look" and attitude, or maybe it's just the big lips and the cute accent

Shlemazl:
taking it to the simple statistic level, I believe it will be difficult to find a jewish guy to marry. As for jews being good in bed, I heard the rumor but I never tested it myself so it's still just a rumor

Jos said...

You went there alone?? You should've told me! Next time take me with you, I wanna meet the 'witch' too ;)