Monday, April 24, 2006

My neighborhood

We have a bunch of weird neighbors, as it is in any place. They’re a family of a mother (80+) and two daughters (both 55+). The old lady’s nice, but her girls are real freaks, one day they start telling my mom about a Snake with “horns” so here’s the story:

Yiyiyi ya (H) (my mom). You wouldn’t believe it! I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it. The snake was important by the owner of the house (K) from Africa
(yeah they always picture these mystic creatures coming from Africa or china or Siberia).

The whole house was full of expensive stuff (they are so in love with anything that shines)Beit Akébr (something like a house of aristocrats), the handles of the door are made of pure gold (?!?!).

We were sitting in the garden (a couple of hectares according to them) and then Mr. (K) calls: ya mahrousé! (literatly means protected, but it’s a name that some people used to give to precious pets)

Now we didn’t give it much importance until we saw her come down the stairs… She was LONG she slid down the stairs, and came under the chairs, we freaked out and jumped up in fear! She just came and sat next to Mr. (K) and he start caressing her head.

No seriously (H) she guards the house, when some thief comes to steal anything
(yeah like you know a thief is something you see everyday) she stands up and hisses!

Damn I just wish stupidity was painful. And today it was Muslim-bashing day:

YiYiYi ya (H). When we first came here (in our building that is) 7 years ago, it was totally empty. We were the 3rd people in here. We were choosing the owners one by one (ahem, of course you know they were such important owners!). Now the building is filled with Muslims and Tripoli garbage.


My mom tries to smooth things over:

Come on (F), there are lots of Muslims that are clean, these people are different they are dirty. Go to West Beirut (Sunni/Muslim) they are almost as civilized as we. (that’s as modern as Maronite Christians around here).

And of course Mss. (F) goes on with more of her TRUTH:

No no no you don’t know these people (H), all Mhammadiyyé (Muslims) are all the same, the Sunna are better but they are terrible…

I won’t keep on quoting there words, I was working on some Botany classification I was trying real hard not to hear them. But these people are really funny.

4 comments:

Nomad said...

hehe fais une BD !

Pazuzu said...

haha bonne idée ;)

Leilouta said...

"The whole house was full of expensive stuff (they are so in love with anything that shines)Beit Akébr (something like a house of aristocrats), the handles of the door are made of pure gold (?!?!)."

I hate that! You know what bothers me the most besides shiny stuff? Fake plants!

Pazuzu said...

haha, fake plants? i don't know I wouldn't put them in my home (I'd preffer no plants at all if I can't take care of some real ones) but what would really make me sick would be when those plants go old and start looking grey, and when sometimes people leave them without any cleaning and they get all dusty, yuck!