Scientific tip of the week: Cunnilingus for a better health

Thanks to Arte

The internal cavities’ sterility (toward pathological parasites) is not an easy objective. Most pathological parasites are eliminated by the simple effect of hostile conditions (alkaline or acid environment, for example). But it’s not just that. Many microbes actually enjoy such “hostile” conditions. Those are eliminated by the effort of other microbes via the competition game… So far nothing new, right? Here are some problems though:

• On one hand, we know that parasites are far more successful than symbiotic or commensally organisms. In other terms, put two species of microbes (an aggressive one and a peaceful one) in the same environment. In no time, the parasite will take over.
• On the other hand, the equilibrium inside our digestive system is different from the one found in our environment (air, water, earth, food…). So apparently, we didn’t just ingest the microbes we modified their proportions.

Now of course, one could say that the human body is capable of producing enzymes and proteins to customize the composition of our micro-friends. I have no clear and conclusive information about that. Nothing prohibits such a mechanism but the plasticity of microbes limits its effectiveness.

A better-known reason is the precocious ingestion of useful germs and microbes. The early arrival of these germs to the “virgin stomach” gives it a huge advantage that will preserve its predominance. In other words, the nice germs are pumped into our body. They see the vast land with a lot of decaying shit to feed on, they think to themselves

Praise the Lord! He has given us this Promised Land. Let’s reproduce and fill it.

Then when the evil Polytheist parasites come, the Chosen germs produce toxins and purify the Land, so that God would remain happy.

This theory is proven in many animals. We know for example that baby elephants and baby hamsters find their Mom’s shit. These animals urgently need these germs for their crucial role in digestion.

Other animals regurgitate food for their kids (penguins, wild dogs, wolves…). The little ones ingest the germs with the meals. Mammals feed their babies with milk, which contains useful germs also.

Ok… That’s good… But that’s not all! What’s the very first environment that the child comes in contact with after the Uterus? The doctor’s hands? No, the Mom’s vagina.

Yes, boys and girls. The composition of the healthy and normal stomach is populate by a significant proportions of germs that usually populate the female vagina. Children who are born prematurely and by cesarean operation never compensate the absence of contact with their mom’s vagina.

So girls, next time your boyfriend/girlfriend are executing some cunning cunnilingus, don’t think of it as a great favor you are receiving… Think of it more as a favor you are giving… Oh and guys, stop complaining, you should be grateful!