So… What about fellatio:

Once upon a time, there were a meticulous, careful and very professional scientist that I enjoy calling myself. Myself made an interesting entry a couple of weeks ago about the health effects of cunnilingus… Or at least one of its effects. And over the last few weeks myself has tried to investigate the cunnilingus’ closest cousin… Fellatio (or fellation).

The first lesson I learnt was actually a spelling lesson: it is written with an “F” and not a “PH” as I have always thought (it’s kind of funny that I have never searched it).

The second lesson I learnt was… linguistic: The word fellatio derives from the latin: fellare meaning: to suck. I wonder if there’s any connection? Haha.

Anyway, to the serious part:

Unlike cunnilingus, fellatio can include two radically different factors. The strict fellare act and the contact with any potential secretions. Of course in the case of cunnilingus this division is meaningless since vaginal secretions and microflora are constantly in contact with the partner, while in the case of fellatio the partner might choose to exclude any potential fluid from the contact.


Fellare
I was sadly disappointed to notice that there can be little (if any at all) benefit for the partner. Even though I couldn’t find any clear information about it, I can say that the man’s penis is an external organ. It’s covered with an external epithelium, naturally more hostile to microflora. Of course, microbes are everywhere, but the penis has a microbal population very similar to the rest of the body (notably the skin) so the woman might as well lick her own body! A woman’s genitals are different, the vagina is more or less hidden from the rest of the body, there are many folds that isolate the internal part and block fluid (more or less). In addition, a vagina is constantly wet (in variable degrees). All these factors create a unique environment that differs from the rest of the body. That’s sadly not the case with men.

But men are resourceful and therefore have another arsenal of substances.



The Semen

Yes, I know many ladies (and gentlemen) don’t like to think about that possibility and would certainly prefer avoiding talking about its nutritional value. But let’s face it, it’s produced in the honor of the partner, shouldn’t that make anyone feel special?

Semen is a very complex and interesting substance as you will notice:

1. Some substances are really gross and not appetizing such as Urea and Uric acid. Yuck! But don’t worry it’s in a small percentage, since the body makes sure to evacuate the urethra before the actual ejaculation (I wouldn’t recommend in this case any ingestion of precum, because that’s the body’s Urethra-cleaner). The body needs to clean the Urethra to preserve the health of the man’s body.
2. Water, well that’s not a surprise. But don’t try to use it for dehydration cases. Consider it like a coke, it might contain water but it’s not good against thirst.
3. Bicarbonate buffers. This is very interesting. The buffers maintain a stable pH in its environment, which is essential for surviving. When a person suffers from some stroke or anything temporarily blocking the breathing process, the acidity of the blood (resulting from accumulation of CO2) is reduced to a more neutral level by the blood’s buffers. Buffers are also used in the digestive system and play a major role in preventing parasitic infection. Unfortunately, the stomach’s pH is not neutral (=7) it’s significantly lower therefore the stomach is acidic. If I am not mistaking the stomach’s buffer is Nitric acid. Bicarbonate is an alkalizing buffer, it keeps the pH above 7. Introducing this substance to the stomach will actually get it closer to neutrality, thus facilitating viral infections ( <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
4. Cholesterol and other lipids have a bad reputation but in fact they are essential for the body… swallowing is not recommended for people with high cholesterol levels.
5. Fructose. When I read this I was kind of surprised. Even though I knew that simple sugars are abundant in semen (the little wiggly things need energy) but usually the body uses glucose and not fructose.
   
   Anyway, fructose is good news, and if you calculate the calorific value of semen than it is estimated as slightly less than one calorie. Which doesn’t seem much but an ejaculation is only between 2 and 5 ml, so in fact it’s VERY energetic.
   
   Swallowing is not recommended for people with diabetes.
6. Zinc, Calcium and Phosphate are extremely useful for the body, even in small proportions. Especially Calcium (why am I starting to feel I am talking about milk?) and Phosphate (I know it’s good for gardening but in fact the body needs it as well).
7. Ascorbic acid and Vitamin B12. Oh come on ladies, now you have to reason to complain. We pay money for multivitamin pills and then refuse an offer that would provide it for free!
   
   Did I mention that ascorbic acid is the scientific name for the vitamin C?
8. Citric acid. In spite of the impression one might take, semen is alkaline. It might contain acids but that’s overshadowed by the presence of spermine and spermidine, but most of all with the presence of bicarbonate buffers.
9. Proteins and enzymes Certainly, you don’t need to be clever to guess that the semen would contain proteins, but don’t try to commercialize it as a meat substitute! It’s mainly hormones, but not testosterone, so don’t you ladies worry about facial hair or something.
   The main enzymes in this case are: spermine and spermidine (Duh!). These are powerful bactericides… wow guys, all you need is some pesticide in there and you’ll be perfect for gardening.

Shlemazl, you mentioned the stimulation of immunity. I think that’s more about the copulation act, due to many factors such as the alkalinity of the semen (a vagina is acid) and the presence of bactericides (vaginas rely on microbes and bacteriae) and probably other factors. This would stimulate the genitals in a healthy way but I am not certain on the effect on the digestive system.

To sum it up, I admit that, putting my personal experience aside, I have no magic answer about this. After all sex is all about the fun, I know most people find sperm totally disgusting, but to be objective and scientific… It isn’t so bad, is it?

When I was writing this, I couldn’t help wondering about the exact constitution of the vaginal secretions… Maybe some other time!

Scientific tip of the week: Cunnilingus for a better health

Thanks to Arte

The internal cavities’ sterility (toward pathological parasites) is not an easy objective. Most pathological parasites are eliminated by the simple effect of hostile conditions (alkaline or acid environment, for example). But it’s not just that. Many microbes actually enjoy such “hostile” conditions. Those are eliminated by the effort of other microbes via the competition game… So far nothing new, right? Here are some problems though:

• On one hand, we know that parasites are far more successful than symbiotic or commensally organisms. In other terms, put two species of microbes (an aggressive one and a peaceful one) in the same environment. In no time, the parasite will take over.
• On the other hand, the equilibrium inside our digestive system is different from the one found in our environment (air, water, earth, food…). So apparently, we didn’t just ingest the microbes we modified their proportions.

Now of course, one could say that the human body is capable of producing enzymes and proteins to customize the composition of our micro-friends. I have no clear and conclusive information about that. Nothing prohibits such a mechanism but the plasticity of microbes limits its effectiveness.

A better-known reason is the precocious ingestion of useful germs and microbes. The early arrival of these germs to the “virgin stomach” gives it a huge advantage that will preserve its predominance. In other words, the nice germs are pumped into our body. They see the vast land with a lot of decaying shit to feed on, they think to themselves

Praise the Lord! He has given us this Promised Land. Let’s reproduce and fill it.

Then when the evil Polytheist parasites come, the Chosen germs produce toxins and purify the Land, so that God would remain happy.

This theory is proven in many animals. We know for example that baby elephants and baby hamsters find their Mom’s shit. These animals urgently need these germs for their crucial role in digestion.

Other animals regurgitate food for their kids (penguins, wild dogs, wolves…). The little ones ingest the germs with the meals. Mammals feed their babies with milk, which contains useful germs also.

Ok… That’s good… But that’s not all! What’s the very first environment that the child comes in contact with after the Uterus? The doctor’s hands? No, the Mom’s vagina.

Yes, boys and girls. The composition of the healthy and normal stomach is populate by a significant proportions of germs that usually populate the female vagina. Children who are born prematurely and by cesarean operation never compensate the absence of contact with their mom’s vagina.

So girls, next time your boyfriend/girlfriend are executing some cunning cunnilingus, don’t think of it as a great favor you are receiving… Think of it more as a favor you are giving… Oh and guys, stop complaining, you should be grateful!