Einmal ist Keinmal

Neighbors screwing:


I received this picture by email from a cousin. I didn't post it directly because some weird voice in the back of my head said it was inappropriate (damn voices!)

Even though I am the kind that loves to entertain and amuse my readers, this is not the only reason why I posted this picture. I have a problem while receiving messages of any sorts from my environment… I love to over analyze things to come up with judgments about the person who created it. And I have a theory:

I believe that the person who created this was a guy

Think about it:

1. The wife gives the husband a blowjob and he doesn’t return the favor


2. The woman is so fucking gorgeous! The guy... Let’s just say he’s just average!

I don’t know why do I get the feeling that this artwork was designed to give the Guys’ species (probably because the author was a guy) the illusion that even if you are ugly, even if you have a son in a small house, even if you don’t really know how to make a woman feel excited… you could just end up with a gorgeous woman, an obedient son and the best sexual life…

I tried to extrapolate this and say that the author might have been a woman that would want to end up with an obedient son and a great fuck, considering that maybe not many couples do cunnilingus and maybe the author was trying to be conventional bla bla bla. But let’s face it, a woman might not demand oral sex but if she was to draw a fantasy she would mention it. A woman’s dream of a perfect life might be one out of two categories:

She would either dream of ending up with a macho guy that would make her want what he wants and be a man.

Or she would dream of a sexy husband that would hold her hands, bring her flowers… Give her oral sex!

It’s very simple, none of us is perfect and most of us realize it but ALL of us want to have the perfect partner that would care only to please us. So as a general conclusion:

Perfect wife=> Man’s fantasy

And vice versa

Ok then, now that I was able to post that entry the serious blogging shall start. And speaking of changes here's something I wanted to inform you with a while back.

You know, when I was working last summer, not the 2006 summer, the 2005 summer; I was very proud of myself, I bought a Dell 3 in 1 printer/scanner/ photocopier. And that was great , but I also wanted to buy a pocket PC, back then I talked to my brother and he told me that he could find me a decent one for 350$, which was achievable considering my income, but back then I thought maybe I should preserve my money for my winter expenses. So I delayed it to the next summer. Next summer I was suffering from the numerous courses that I had failed and had to redo.

During winter, my brother got himself an I-mate JAMI admit… I was terribly jealous. An I-mate is far more expensive than the average pocket PC, and it's more wanted for its “cell phone” characteristics, which didn't really interest me. BUT it was better than what I had (because I had nothing).

Now a while back my brother got himself a new I-mate, JAMin… And he gave me his JAM!!

Well… yes it's official now I own a pocket PC… And I LOVE IT. My brother took the memory card for the JAMin, so I need to get a memory card for myself. But hey, that can wait I am very happy with my tiny little memory-cardless I-mate. Especially that it has a camera in it!

Now of course, when my friends see it some were happy, but the majority had something to criticize… DUH! Here's a small sample:

• Oh why didn't you get a memory card? It's useless without one


• You should get a cover for it!


• Oh! It isn't also a phone? Oh! You don't have a line? Oh you don't want a line? What would you wanted for anyway then?


• It's nice but why didn't you get a Pocket PC?


• Yeah it's nice… But you could have had a better one, there are much prettier models that look more feminine

Jesus! People always have to criticize? Why can't they just say Mabrook and smile?! I didn't ask them about their opinion in the first place, I just showed them what my brother got me!

So I got my Internet access back and I managed to do so without any increase of my income. So yes it’s good news! But it didn’t come that cheap I had to sacrifice 2 out of 4 magazines I used to buy.

So I had forgotten how much I had loved blogging, till I actually revisited some of my old entries and I can’t help but to feel a warm feeling. Not just because of all the good times I had and all the cool people I met, but also because I remembered how appeasing writing was for me, I had forgotten for a while that this blog is the place where I can actually relax and say to myself: this is MY place and I do with it whatever I want.

So I can once more write whatever I want however I want and no one can stop me and above all some people might actually like it. But what would I write? You see there’s this thing about my reading myself… I don’t recognize myself in what I write. I admire the woman that writes these things, but can she really be me? Wow it certainly doesn’t feel like I did all that, no wonder I loved it so much. But what can I write about now? How can I ever match what I have written in the past?

Well, I guess I will need a lot of time to catch up. Not to mention that I am in the midst of my exams right now, so I might not be as active as I ought to. So be patient. Let me start with a round up of all the things that happened in the past few months:

1. Christmas


2. New year


3. I turned 22 and I feel so fucking old!


4. I have reached out to the sun, I touched it, burnt my fingers and my heart and then fell on my ass and it hurts a lot (don’t ask)


5. I am in my final year as a biologist, not sure where to go from there


6. I regained my faith in the male species and in the Lebanese species… maybe


7. I have cut my hair short and accepted my freakiness with a broken spirit

In fact this has been a difficult and confusing time for me where I have felt alienated and lonely in the midst of a great crowd of friends. I can’t really explain it, but I feel, now more than ever, convinced and in peace with my choices, but I feel misunderstood and I feel a great space between what others might see and what I see. Example? I feel now prettier than ever (yes boyish is pretty for me) and now I realize that this is social ugliness! And people’s opinion matters.

This is so odd, I really wanted to make a round up of my life, but nothing comes out!

Anyway I should start posting tomorrow nshalla